Figuring out my cosas

I think it’s fully legit to say that I have no earthly clue where my life is heading at the moment. Sounds pretty dramatic, no? Well, probably. I guess I have a general earthly clue: I like Spain, it’s nice, and I could see myself staying here for awhile longer, but ultimately I am still enamored with the idea of moving to SF soon and living a kickin’ 20-something life with some of my favorite people. But in terms of the details and specifics that get me back to that point, I’m pretty much winging it.

Case in point: my flight back to the States. Originally, I was coming home in late June. Then, over Christmas break, I changed it to be coming home in early September in order to spend more time here and potentially see where things were going with The Boy, only to be told by said Boy that he really wished I could have talked to him first because he’d like to come visit me in the States and the only time he can do that is in August. So then I tried changing my frequent flyer-mile ticket to the end of July, thought I would be successful, and ended up effed by frequent-flyer-mile lameness. And just as I was getting used to the idea of staying for the summer, miraculously more flights opened up and I was able to change it for the end of July. Success! Except The Boy isn’t sure if he can come anymore due to la crisis. Awesome. I clearly do not fault him for this or believe that he’s doing it to purposely make my life a little more crazy, but it’s just inconvienent.

New thing I am learning #1: even in a relationship, particularly one in which you don’t know how things are going to work out logistically in six months, do the things that will make you happy regardless of the outcome and work around the details when you get there.

So, I’m home this summer! While this makes me really happy and it makes me even happier that The Boy will possibly be able to come visit me in August, this is just one of many things I have going on in my brain these days. I’m pretty sure my boyfriend thinks I am a little insane for how much I plan in advance (ha, pretty sure; no, try being told “estas loca” when you think two weeks in advance or more is an okay time to start thinking about lodging in a place, for example), and I am definitely the first to admit to you that I like my cosas in order for my personal sanity. If that means planning an Easter-weekend place to stay two months in advance, then so be it! If that means I want to know where I’m going to be spending the weekend after next in order to mentally prepare, I am all for it!

Thing #2 I am learning: live in the moment, person who loves to plan things!  My life as it stands right now has no real easy way of working itself out. It’s going to require a lot of thinking and organizing at some point, assuming I stay with this boyfriend of mine, figuring out how I stay here for awhile longer or how he gets there in a legal way, all of which hurts my head just in theory. Plus, who really makes those decisions after 4 months of knowing someone? That seems a bit insane to me; hence, live in the moment. It is incredibly challenging for me, enjoying what I have now without worrying about the consequences or decisions that have to be made in the future, but I’m learning. And it’s kind of liberating at times – I am being the procrastinator I never was!

And even though she may not know this (actually, lies, she probably does), my Santiago-dwelling friend is certainly providing a lot of inspiration for me: it CAN be done, this international relationship thing, but you have to think creatively and be committed to making it happen. I like that thought, assuming that I have to make a similar decision come summertime.  And as she keeps reminding me, I’ll try not to count those chickens before it’s time to see how they hatch.

For right now, I think my new education is keeping me quite busy enough. No sense worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, right? And just to show how much I’ve learned, I’m off to take advantage of the surprisingly gorgeous February weather, because who knows what’ll happen tomorrow?

 

Thoughts al azar

Basically I am posting this evening just to post, because I feel like I have been totally incommunicado for two whole weeks. And either my life is more boring this year than last year and I no longer have interesting stories to tell, or I feel like I’m doing many things all over again so that I don’t have to tell you about them as frequently. I’m not sure which one it is, but either way it makes me feel like a slacker blogger. I clearly need to learn how to make the more-frequent-less-wordy posts a reality. Therefore, what you guys get is just my general thoughts on life at the moment. Ready?

Let’s talk about work. I love it. It’s a totally different experience from last year, because whereas last year I was working in English classrooms (teaching the actual English language to students), this year I’m teaching other subjects just IN English in the bilingual program at my instituto. As one of the bilingual teachers pointed out last week, “It must be boring and hard to work in English classrooms, because you have nothing to talk about in English!” I hadn’t thought about that before, but it’s a good point. Sometimes I struggled last year (and continue to struggle in my private classes) because I couldn’t come up with an activity that would really energize the students to talk. I’m sure this partially due to the fact that they’re teenagers and have their own agendas, but it’s also because of what this teacher told me, that there are just so many fun ways to use the present continuous tense. So while I sometimes feel less used in the classrooms this year and am there largely to read, correct pronunciation and answer vocabulary questions, the students mostly seem much more motivated and talk more. That could just be these kids, too. Who knows?

The students themselves are largely encantadores (charming), and they continue to say hilarious things and drive us all slightly crazy. We were in a class of primeros last week (they’re roughly 7th graders), and they were just all over the place, talking and asking the most ridiculous questions, until finally the teacher turned to me half laughing, half desperate, and said, “Yo me quiero morir!” (“I want to die”). I enjoyed that very much, and it’s pretty much how things go sometimes. There are the good days and then the crazy ones.

Life in Burgos is pretty sweet, as well, aside from the increasingly cold weather. Today, for example, we had the most gorgeous fall day: mid-50s, overcast with threatening rain clouds (but no rain), and beautiful fall colors on all the trees. It was the perfect day for a walk along the river, enjoying the fact that we could be outside without getting frostbite. I have made it a goal of mine to go out and walk more, since there are beautiful neighborhoods right near me and it’s a good way to pass a lazy weekend afternoon, but we’ll see how that holds up as the weather really DOES get colder.

I had a friend, Abby, visiting from Logrono this weekend, and as we strolled along the river and chatted, we came to the realization that despite the fact that we’re living in a foreign country, both of us feel completely at home here. Sure, the customs are a bit different, speaking in Spanish sometimes feels a bit like “lost in translation,” and we’re thousands of miles away from family and friends, but we get it here. The afternoon coffee date with a friend has become habitual, and despite my inability to walk slowly, I’ve even been persuaded to pasear in the afternoons with the rest of the city on occasion. I love that many people want to have conversations with me about America just because they notice that my accent is different and that I have friends from all over the place. There’s so much I’m experiencing here that I couldn’t experience at home, and that makes this all so cool.

Those are my thoughts from the past week. Have a great week.